Monday, 16 November 2015

A Cringeworthy Decision

A Cringeworthy Decision


Every writer starts somewhere. When the experienced writers look back at their first books, it is sometimes with regret that they could have written a better book, not a better story, just better in their word building and less annoying in the little mistakes first time authors make.

I initially felt the same way about my books when recently adjusting them for e-readers, but came to the conclusion, as I am aware many other authors had, that the first books are perfect the way they are.

Your audience has the chance to grow with you. This might not be appreciated by everyone, but after querying most of my 'salted' fans, I was convinced not to adjust the books at all.

The opinion of the editor and beta-readers were that "you notice a marked difference in pace and writing style as the books mature with the development and growth of the main character. The first few parts are written in innocence and naivety, but without these, the story will not be understood as clearly as we do now."

I rest my case, staying my itching hand not to re-edit the first few parts!


For free PDF parts and excerpts visit www.chroniclesofhan.com

Saturday, 24 October 2015

Saving Leilaka Exclusive Intro Preview

Saving Leilaka Exclusive Intro Preview


 Excerpt from Saving Leilaka, proposed release date December 2015:

  Superheated air blasted through the chamber, disintegrating Kaleb's crib, stripping skin and flesh from my bones before the ashes were swept along on its devastating destructive path.
   I must have screamed, for the baby wailed from his crib, Merrykara bending over him to soothe him into silence.
   A dragon, mad with battle rage, could be heard up upon the mountainside.
   Habieb stormed into my private chamber without announcing himself.
   Merrykara had our son in her arms. I could not face them, giving my attention to an anxious Habieb.
   "He dreamt again" Merrykara answered the unspoken question. "He will not tell you either" she sneered, turning away from us, settling upon the rocking chair that faced the window.
   "You must calm your Huracan!" Habieb distracted me. "She will come in here and destroy your home if you do not respond to her."
   He was right. We knew how destructive Dragons can become.
   It was extremely hard for me to calm myself enough to open the conscious telepathic connection to Moira.
   In the end, she succeeded to burst through the unseen shield that had been blocking our link.
   **Are you alright?! I cannot find any physical danger to you. Show me the threat and I will destroy it for you!** she raved.
   **We both need to calm down, Moira** I soothed. **It is not a danger you or anyone else can do anything about. I need to follow this vision, see where it comes from. We are not going to have any rest until it comes to pass, and then it will be very much too late.**
   "Will she stay?" Habieb wanted to know.
   "Yes. She will stay" I replied . . .

Ω

Copyright © H Gibson Chronicles of Han Storm. All rights reserved. 2009-2015 Purchase ebook or book via PayPal

Friday, 11 September 2015

Chronicles of Han Storm now available in Kindle.MOBI

Chronicles of Han Storm now available in Kindle.MOBI

Great news!
All Han Storm books are now available in Kindle.MOBI format as well.
Visit www.chroniclesofhan.com to purchase using PayPal.

Sunday, 6 September 2015

Ups and Downs of Locally held events


Ups and Downs of Locally held events


Some days are satisfying and some days just feel like wasted effort.

Book signings, public appearances and local markets are only as successful as the public who visit and support these venues.

Some market days are well attended, making the market a huge success, even if the visitors did not purchase a single item, just walked around, had a look and said hallo to the vendors who have poured weeks of hard work into the event.

The same amount of effort, care and meticulous preparation goes into a successful market day, as a day on which not a single visitor walks past your stand or stall. The vendors are still committed, sunshine or rain, to produce the best items to have available on the day.

Unfortunately, local producers become downhearted when the market or event had been advertised extensively but shows a low turnout of visitors. This trend leads to the demise of local events, which in turn leads to the termination of fair and open trade where local producers are forced to work through agents and third parties resulting in the price of their goods going up and becoming out of reach of the general public.

There are jewels to be found locally, so please support local events, even to just take ten minutes and visit an event. If our local artists, producers and crafters are not supported, we lose these wonderful people and eventually all local community events.


At the end of the day, these small markets and events are set up for you, the locals, to have first pick of great products not usually found anywhere else.


Friday, 4 September 2015

Author Appearance - Book Signings - Book Sales - Cape Town Markets - 5 September 2015


H GIBSON - AUTHOR - CHRONICLES OF HAN STORM 

Author Appearances - Book Sales and Book Signing   
Saturday, 5 September 2015, Pringle Bay Community Hall, South Africa
Meet the Author at the Pringle Bay Community Hall Market, entrance to Pringle Bay
9h30am to 3pm           Entry: FREE 

Book Sales Only
Saturday, 5 September 2015, Bothasig Community Hall, South Africa
Book will be for sale at the Bothasig Community Hall Market, Link Road (Behind Super Plants), Century City Area, Cape Town
10am to 3h30pm           Entry: R5p/p 

See you there.



Wednesday, 12 August 2015

eBook Promotion


eBook Promotion


Chronicles of Han Storm, Preserving Creata eBook
only $2.99 until the end of August 2015 on
PayPal available


"Creata used to be my home planet. Having reached her limit of 9 billion people, our Planetary Government was looking for ways of sustaining such huge numbers. A reluctant pioneer, they turned me into a tool to be used for their ultimate goal of leaving their planet. I am Han and these are my stories . . . " - Han Storm


Sunday, 14 June 2015

With love, from the Tooth Fairy


To the Tooth Fairy: A note from a distressed little girl - 
"I am so sorry my mom threw my tooth away and gave me a twenty 'R' note. I hope you get this or if you do not, then you ar not real nd my childhood shatterd.
From J
"I hope"
To the tooth fairy"


What will you do when this happens?

At least I have contacts in very high places and received the following reply (yes, did you not know The Tooth Fairy now has email and other modern technology):

From: Representative of The Tooth Fairy <thetoothfairy@email address>
To: H Gibson <email address>
Sent: Sunday, June 14, 2015 2:00 PM
Subject: Fairies exist

Please forward to J.

Dear J

We have been made aware of your note.

Please do realize that, although we do not show ourselves, our realm is very real and Fae Folk do exist. Some in our dimension and some disguised as normal people.

Your mother is one such a person. She is a combination of many things, including Fae, therefore do not just believe in us, but actually sees us and communicates with us.

Due to unrest in countries on Earth, as well as the poor quality of teeth, we had to scale down on our open operations, relying on believing parents to provide us with the substance that ultimately gives us sustenance.

Yes, contrary to the general belief system, we actually feed off the calcium in teeth. Human teeth used to be the best source of calcium but had degraded through the use of chemicals such as fluoride which is a harmful substance to us, stripping us of our powers and energy.

In the countries where it is tradition to make an offering ceremony with teeth, we allow the parents to provide the negotiated amount to the child. We do still collect all teeth, including 'lost' or 'thrown out' teeth and have specialized units who's sole task it is to collect these lost teeth.

Please do not be angry with your mother. She has her own worries and cannot get around to everything. As she is a special person we were made aware of your specific tooth (which was duly collected - from the dustbin!)

In future, we have given her permission to directly collect the tooth for us and keep it in safeguarding until we can send someone to collect it.

When you are an adult with your own children. You can either keep the teeth in safeguard (sort of like a storage bank) or throw them out. They will be collected and incorporated into our dimension. It is up to you what you wish your child to believe.

There is no need to teach them about us. Many people do not believe. It does not make us any more real than vampires or werewolves. Stories always start somewhere, in an experience of something. Stories become legends and legends turn into stories until no-one can remember what is the actual truth. And this is alright.

I hope you will still believe in us and that there is magic in this world, even if it does not look like it. Enjoy the bit of childhood you still have left. It is tough being a grownup.

We watch over you, as your guardian does, as your special mother does. Never feel alone. We are around, for you are one of us too. A kinsman, a child of a fairy-person.

All our love

Sianella
Your local Tooth Fairy Representative
RSA Western Cape


Result - a happy little girl!


Copyright © H Gibson 2015 Chronicles of Han Storm www.chroniclesofhan.com


Wednesday, 27 May 2015

Preserving Creata - Chronicles of Han Storm - Book 1 now available in ePUB


Preserving Creata - Chronicles of Han Storm - Book 1 now available in ePUB


Buy The Chronicles of Han Storm, Creata Adventure in ePUB directly from the author or from Megabooks.

Adventure Science Fiction Fantasy books enhanced with Metaphysical undertones, a dash of Romance and a sprinkle of Horror!


“Creata used to be my home planet. Having reached her limit of 9 billion people, our Planetary Government was looking for ways of sustaining such huge numbers. A reluctant pioneer, they turned me into a tool to be used for their ultimate goal of leaving their planet. I am Han and these are my stories . . . ” – Han Storm



Tuesday, 28 April 2015

H Gibson - Chronicles of Han Storm - Author Appearance - 9 May 2015



H Gibson - Chronicles of Han Storm - Author Appearance - 9 May 2015

Date: 9 May 2015, Saturday
Place: Bothasig Community Hall Market, Link Road (behind Super Plants), Bothasig, Cape Town
Entry: R5 pp
Time: 10am to 3h30pm

Visit H Gibson, Author of The Chronicles of Han Storm, at the Healing Oil Products Stand. Make use of this opportunity to purchase books, CD's or Axhilirit Eczema and Rejuvinit Anti-Ageing Healing Oil Products.

Selected Rejuvinit Products will be on special for Mother's Day.

We will also have limited stock of Bismuth Crystals available for sale.

www.healing-oil.co.za
www.chroniclesofhan.com

Monday, 13 April 2015

Saving Leilaka - New Book Cover Reveal



Fans want to know: "Where is the new book?"

Saving Leilaka is on its way, almost done . . . here is the proposed book cover reveal. Any comments?

For more info visit www.chroniclesofhan.com

Friday, 6 March 2015

Counter Intelligence



Counter Intelligence
Han had a peek at his Government file
Excerpt from Chronicles of Han Storm - Preserving Creata

* * *
My Government file was suddenly a lot thicker than before.
Once again, I brought the 'pages' into focus in front of me, duplicating the memory from Captain Heraldt.

Name:  Han Storm
Mother:  Anne Storm
Father: Unknown (Note: the mother claims there was no father – claim pending further investigation) UNDER INVESTIGATION: 308 Heights Building, Market Square, New Haven, found to be rented out in the name of Mr HLH Storm. Landlord insisted that this was the father of subject and the original rental contract was signed twelve years ago, coinciding with subject being “lost”.

I had to smile at their confusion. It was so easy to hypnotize the simpleton of a Landlord to believe that 'my father' signed the lease and paid for it every month. He never actually saw anyone representing my 'dad'. I just played along with pretending that I had an adult around to look after me.
It was easy times. If you can see the possibilities of the future, you can live off gambling very successfully. I never lacked for anything after leaving the government foster system. And by walking the middle path of invisibility, I was very successful at putting myself through school without creating suspicion.

The long list under the heading of Current Status, incorporating the list of foster families was suddenly very full with entries dated the last few weeks.
It seemed as if the Government was desperately trying to profile me. I felt satisfied that I was creating confusion amongst them. 
Most of the new entries next to the foster families of my early years simply stated that the people had no recollection of this child ever being with them.
The new entry at the foster family that sent me to see the Psychic, Professor Zane (at age six) read as follows: 
Child started having repeated nightmares. He used to wake all confused and anxious in the mornings. He did not want to talk to us about it, but started projecting strange illusions that we could actually see.
We realized he must be psychic by nature and requested an appointment with Professor Zane. After three weeks of attendance, the Professor advised us to rather bring him back when he was a bit older and more ‘stable’.
The child became increasingly introverted after that. He was un-cooperative in all aspects and as we could not give him individual attention, asked for his placement to another family that had the time to deal with him.

The next few new entries simply stated that I was an introverted child that did what he was told but never took initiative to do anything more than he was asked to do. They almost did not remember me. I was just a 'quiet one' to them.

The entry where they 'lost' me had extra notes:
Agent in attendance of file at this stage stated that the foster family in question contacted her with the disturbing news that the child did not return from school. He was already missing for almost a week. The authorities made a note of the case, but never came back to the agent. She also did not follow up, having retired that same week. The file should have been followed up by the next agent. As yet, no responsibility has been taken for this file. It was never passed on to anyone else and was eventually found filed in the archives.

I felt positive that the Universe had something to do with that missing file.

They had also found the school I had attended. The entry was short and to the point:
No recollection from teachers regarding student. As stated by almost every teacher interviewed ‘He must have been just one of the crowd’
Followed up on grades. Average scores on all subjects. Nothing out of the ordinary.

Being invisible does pay off, sometimes.

The next entry was about the Security Forces Academy:
Subject said to have bright demeanour, gave a good effort in everything and was a pleasure to work with. Not the most outstanding cadet they ever had, but one that would turn out to be a solid Force person.

I did Tucker proud. My substitute dad knew this when he took me on as a Rookie.

There was a new entry under STATUS too:
Current status: Subject current occupation: Special Psychic Team for the Planetary Security Forces. Under direct control of Director C. Thornton.
Under special surveillance by agent, Cpt. J. Heraldt, special ops unit. (Current mission: Pilot of Planetary Security Forces, transporting subject to required missions.) Cpt Heraldt to report position of subject at all times.

Again I 'turned' the page as the Captain did in the memory and faced the page on what the Government had to say about me. I scanned through the first entries again. It really made interesting reading (or memory in this regard.)
Psychic abilities untested. All information unconfirmed. Specialty seems to be visions of events in the past, present and future. Also displaying signs of telepathic skills. Worked missing persons. Success rate: 99.9%.
Recommendations: Keep in semi-private environment with Level 1 Security Status. Monitor closely with daily reports on events and performance. Case referred to 24 hour monitoring service. Satellite Tracking Implant advised.
           
      There was a new note following this:
No implant to date. Conference with Private investors led to the understanding that they would not co-operate if their investment was to be harmed in any way, including through a tracking device. It was not considered ‘humane’. Negotiations brought about contract that subject’s position would be confirmed at all times. Contract being adhered to. Risk of termination of subject was brought to light when pressure on private investors was suggested.

      There was another inscription, by hand:
EMP detonated at Planetary Security Forces Head Quarters. Said to be by accident. Recordings indicate Subject in severe discomfort right before incident. Informant confirmed subject’s immediate removal right after incident. Subject said to be in ‘bad’ shape.
All recording equipment was terminated. All tracking nano-bites were de-activated. Director Thornton re-instated previous company for security equipment, blaming Government issued equipment for malfunction and subsequent detonation of EMP. Lawsuit PSF vs Government regarding damages pending.

Good for you, Director. Make them sweat a bit.

The newest entries indicated that the information allowed to 'leak out' was gobbled up by the Government as truth. The Director did a stunning job at making me appear only slightly better than anyone else. He was keeping my real talents well hidden.
First Mission: Atlantica: Missing Persons.
Used heightened psychic skills to locate missing persons. Only four girls were found. The fifth turned out to be involved with a young man and did not want to return to her family. No foul play was involved.

Second Mission: Batista: Mummies found in Cavern at dig.
Mummies found by subject to be ancient remains at a holy site. Subject had definite, confirmed past visions brought on by touch, as with New Haven Security Forces work. Successful negotiations were initiated that Holy Site was to be given back to the Desert People and not to be disturbed. New caverns also opened with visions leading to successful negotiations regarding the re-distribution of Batista wealth towards the Desert People.

After this, there was a disturbing inscription. This one was in a handwriting I recognized from somewhere.
Subject arrived at aircraft in unconscious state. Flown in this state from Prosia to next mission in Darkhust. Subject seemed in unstable physical condition, needing constant attention from Doctor and Handler.

There was a new section under the heading Speciality Development:
Speciality Development:
Locating people through psychic abilities seems to be the main speciality.
Confirmed past-visions when in contact with items.
Possible future-visions under investigation.
Extremely powerful energy-healing confirmed. Mr Thornton, father of Director Thornton (PSF) confirmed 100% recovery from life-threatening Emphysema.

There was a loose page placed in a Government Courier envelope. It was dated for today and read as follows:
General Notes:
Subject seems highly stressed, possible breakdown suspected. Seven-day leave requested and granted. New location to be Kwailu Isles. 

I suddenly put two and two together. This was Heraldt’s handwriting. He wrote this, but allowed me to see it!
What was his game?
At these times I really wished for Sensaii. One thing was certain. Not much was secret any longer. At least our real mission was not known.

But there was more information that came before my inner eye.

Captain Heraldt was a very privileged government agent with an extremely high clearance level. He had unrestricted access to my government files and the information they contained.
He was a valuable source of counter-espionage regarding myself. He took it upon himself to help me.
I could not follow the memory imprint. It closed off abruptly, as if this was not supposed to have downloaded to me.
I actually received the impression of an Oops! and then nothing more . . .

I opened my eyes to stare into a sandwich.
Panam was busy feeding everyone again and I took one gratefully.
We should be landing in Kwailu by early afternoon. I tried to keep my mind blank the rest of the way.

Ω

Copyright © H Gibson Chronicles of Han Storm. All rights reserved. 2009-2015 Purchase ebook or book via PayPal



Wednesday, 4 March 2015

The Phoenix Rising.....!

Picture credits: KLab Global Pte. Ltd

A special message from a friend regarding my 11th Life Anniversary tomorrow.
This is too sweet not to share.
With permission from Bhakta-Anjana:



The Phoenix Rising.....!

.............ahhhhhh, finally...............!
Monkey finally settles down in her comfy pozzy up in the Tree of Life! 
Having dispensed with all the mundane domestic chores, she now rests and allows her thoughts to fly!  And are they flying all over the place...................................!! 
Gotta catch 'em, one by one....and herd them all into some sort of sensible thought-pattern.......!

Oh, good morning, Beloved!
Can you take a moment's time-out, and relax a little?  
After this extreme heat, the 'coolth' settles over us like a soft blanket! Aahh, waddah relief! I even feel a few drops of rain....and is that thunder I hear?  Nature's blessings!

You know, my Dearest One, these past few days had my thoughts going all over the place! 
The fires, the wind, the destruction of huge tracts of land, the deaths of many creatures, properties burnt down, people traumatized....  

....the beautiful Cape....what izzzz happening...why is it happening....????? 

Monkey's thoughts travel all over the convoluted mind! She needs putting it all down into something concrete and understandable....
....and then, two things happened....
1)  a casual remark made by an ecologist this morning, when asked about the consequences these destructive fires have on the ecology. Her answer was,   
"See this as the Rising of the Phoenix"....
2)  I suddenly realized what tomorrow's date is, and a soft    
Hannnn     nuuuuu    mannnnnn   wafted though my mind.....
....and then something clicked into place....

Now, monkey's big challenge is putting all of this into place so that you'll understand what exactly I am trying to say.......
.....big sigh!!.......all right, here goes.........

Monkey sees a link between the two!!  

The fynbos is burnt, and a few days later a miracle happens....the Flame Lily blooms.  She only does this after a fire.  The Flame-Lily-Phoenix Rises.

The Hanuman cry? 
11 years ago, on the 5th of March, another Phoenix rose. 
This magnificent Phoenix arose when the body of an entity, through which the Great Hanuman speaks and acts, was burnt beyond recognition! 
Han, the Earth-Human, faced her greatest challenge, but she lives to tell the tale....
....and what a tale it is!!  Her stories are alive with Universal Truths, and her books change many lives....giving rise to monumental Phoenix-Enlightenment...

So what am I trying to link here? 
Has the Mighty Phoenix risen out of these fires? A Healing Phoenix, a Phoenix which fires through the minds of men and is changing their mind-sets? 
Monkey has no idea, but something truly significant is happening, no matter how it all looks at surface level...magic is happening, she feels it in her old bones...! 

Sweet One, in my convoluted way, I wish to honour and give thanks to the beautiful Han for her courage....for on the 5th March we witnessed her resurrection, her re-birth, her Phoenix Rising.  This was 11 years ago = 11 being Hanuman's sacred number...

I love you....as does Liger...and we both wish you a wonderful day! We think of you....and thank you for your magnificence! 

Bhakta-Anjana! 
Tree-of-Life




Friday, 20 February 2015

What happens on Encha stays on Encha. But did it?


What happens on Encha stays on Encha.
But did it?

Excerpt: Chronicles of Han Storm: Taming Encha, Book 3:
      Frank ordered his men to stand their ground, but the thing with the grey-blue scales and lizard-like features was already strangling the life from my beloved.
      Before I could discern what I was doing, fury overtook me and my body was engulfed within blue flames as I gathered the Source Energy within sight of all who surrounded me, accumulating it into a huge, twirling ball in front of me.
      My gaze fell upon Ariel.
      Her eyes were glazing over, life draining from her as the monster stole her life-force.
      *Do it!* she screamed hysterically into my mind, the agony of her demise ripping through my own body, as if a Grox had hold of her. Yet I knew this was no Grox.
      I slammed the ball of energy into them, allowing it to disintegrate flesh and spirit into a miniature nuclear eruption without any adverse effects to those surrounding it.
      The physical was evaporated. The spiritual had been shattered back into pure energy, returning to become part of the Creator once more.
      A miniature crater of scorched earth was all that remained.
      Lowering my quivering arms, I closed my eyes not to physically behold the destruction that had been created within the super nova of energy particles.
      I realized all too painfully that Ariel was gone with the Rogue Lord, extinguished from existence by a single blast of Pure Source Energy.
      My body sagged to its knees . . .

      I stood apart from it, watching it emotionally falling apart as gun-shots rang out and the other cannibals were executed mercilessly on the spot.
      My features contained no emotion whatsoever.
      Panam gently pushed my body over into a reclining position, asking it questions it was not responding to.
      Alis tried to revive it, but it slipped into a comatose state.      
      "*Come, Han*" Duek gently herded my spirit to a light portal that was on hand to transport me to the waiting Reclamation Hall in the Higher Worlds of Encha.
      Duek released me into the care of my Light Guardian. He would stay with my body, hiding it from the other Lizards, the Rogues that will hopefully now become active because of one of their own being slain. 

      I lay myself down on a bed provided within a new hospital wing Hulo had insisted be created within the Higher Worlds of Encha.
      Lord Grox was not on hand for the reclamation as was promised and I felt deceived.
      Sorrow, numbness, anaesthesia surrounded my spirit, as if it was saturated with events and could not soak up even one more emotion.
      Becoming aware of a huge Light Being at my feet, I knew I recognised this entity from somewhere.
      It presented itself in the outline of a Light Angel. It did not talk, or use telepathy, yet I understood it.
      It needed me to go with it before the reclamation started. All those involved were not yet present. They had been sent for but as I am aware of, it was tricky travelling through the Universal Communication Systems if one was not authorised.
      My Guardian pulled me up from the bed, surrounding me in its warm comfort, guiding me along passages that had not seen use in a very long time.
      We came to an ancient looking section, where doors were still solidly built and had padlocks for locks.
      In my numbed state, I did not become aware of any other entities hovering around and presumed that this area was totally abandoned.
      It looked very well preserved though.
      My Guardian stopped in front of one of these solid ancient doors. It was unlocked and the energy key had been left within the padlock. I knew that these locks could only be opened by the Key bearer and that there was only a single key to every door. If the key should go missing, no-one, not even the owner would ever be able to enter that locked room.
      Pushing the door open, my Guardian entered with me still enfolded in its embrace.
      A trunk, representing an energetic vault, stood in the middle of this room.
      - Here you are to place that which you do not wish to retain - my Light Guardian informed me.
      *Must I place the actual memories in there, or only the emotional turmoil?* I wanted to know from it.
      - Whichever you do not wish to retain -
      It released me in front of the trunk. I watched as it opened the heavy looking lid before taking a position behind the trunk, waiting for me to do whatever I wished.
      *Is this part of the reclamation?* I wanted to know. 
      - No, it is for you, a gift from The Creator -
      *Would I be able to reclaim at a later stage that which I put in here?*
      - Of course. Whatever you place in here will automatically dissolve from the original recordings. Not even your Cosmic Recording will contain any of this which is held captive within this mausoleum. When you are ready to become all of yourself again, you will be guided back here, to reclaim that which is rightfully yours. And your Cosmic Recordings will become fully restored -
      Logic returned to my numbed spirit for a few seconds.
      *Why was Ariel so different, so absolutely special?* I asked my Guardian that seemed to know a lot more about things than it had ever revealed to me. Now that I could communicate with it, I was taking this one chance I currently had.
      - She was your Soul Mate, created to perfectly balance your opposing nature, rendering harmony within your soul -
      *And I had destroyed her. Made her one with The Creator again.*
      - Sometimes you have to sacrifice a part of yourself to render great service to The Creator-
      *I do not wish to retain these memories, these feelings within my being. It will surely torture me, driving me insane with regret and heartache and self blame. With what could have been.
      I will forever go over the events of today, trying to see if there could have been a different way of doing it. A different way of destroying that Thing, without harming her.*
      - We are acutely aware of this. That is why The Creator has given us this opportunity. What happened on Encha, should stay on Encha -
      *Until I have the courage to face it again.*
      - Until then -

- End of Excerpt -

Exclusive WIP Excerpt: Chronicles of Han Storm: Last Book

23April2011 Saturday 12h31pm
      Yesterday, Friday 22nd. Easter Friday. Holiday. Did almost nothing. Not feeling like going on, yet knowing will have to sometime. Ignored all prompts from the Universe to continue. Just want to stay in limbo for a bit.
      Woke up with stomach ache this morning. Thoroughly unhappy  because of it. Cannot even enjoy food any more. At least chocolate and coffee still do it for me. But not always. Body in bit of a pickle because of lack of magnesium in muscles. But then, not been out of the house for a while, stagnating in 'sleeping' very long stretches again. Not that it is something I advise people to do. It is just that there are other things that need my attention elsewhere.
      Anyway. Just upset this morning for not able to eat as I used to, not able to sleep. Not able to rest. Being constantly tired and irritated and knowing that it is not from here but my Cosmic Self that has become cynical in its seeing of the physical world, for nothing has changed within my lifespan since the creation of Creation.
      People are still people. They still want the bad with the good and the wonderful without having to take up the responsibility it brings.
      Nothing has changed. It just moves from universe to universe and you start all over again within the same teachings, the same principles, the same type of adventures. Good vs Evil. Good wins, Evil wins. What is new? Destroy, build up from the destruction. Live in peace for a few 100 years. Get bored. Go bad, destroy, build up again. Same old, same old.
      Totally ridiculous. Anyway. Just my viewpoint. Must remember that there are very young Soul-Spirits that also wish to endure, live and let live.
      And therefore they need the chance to have physical worlds that have these opportunities available. It is not my life that is precious here. It is the lives around me. My children, my husband that sees everything as miracles, that stands amazed at the simplistic complexities of everything that makes up physical life.
      Yet when I look at it. It is all the same. It comes from the same place. It goes back to the same place. Physical, spiritual, ethereal. All the same to me.
      Cynical [believing the worst of others, esp. that all acts are selfish]. Correct word to use. All is in the end only for the emotional gathering of the Self, is it not?

14h15pm: Made love to hubby. Quiet. Peaceful, Unattached.
      I am told that I should just go back to that part of Encha. Just do it, get it over with. Go within myself, disappear for a while and bring back the memories onto paper from so long ago.
      Trick is. The door is still locked and I am afraid that if I should open it, the gushing would be too intense to handle upon this plane of existence.
      I am told that I will actually be okay with it. That I should not worry, that I should just open the door and allow the memories the release from my heart they have been waiting for so long.
      Interesting thought that our emotions, our memories, our troubles sometimes long for release from us. For us to allow them to go in peace and forgiveness.
      So I stand in front of the door which holds the box to Encha's darkest memories. I turn the key, waiting for my husband to first bring me my coffee before I will advance inside to open the elusive box I have finally found within this locked room.

21h37pm: Advancing slowly, picking out the oldest memories within sequence, one at a time. Not advancing too fast for comfort, knowing that what is still to come is all very complex memories of good intermingled with bad, with evil, with still not comprehending after all the chronological 'time' after these happenings.
      Take it easy, allowing only one memory at a time to surface, to show itself, to be written for this World I now reside upon and within.
      Frequent breaks between work. Lots of coffee. Lots of sugar. I feel sick to my stomach, yet this body want food, but the Soul-Spirit does not. 

22h39pm: I remember now, as I dig around, one frame of information at a time. The soldiers had a saying. What happens on Encha, stays on Encha. You did not take Encha home. You left her at the portal, carrying on with your life when you leave.
      I remember me and Ariel. I remember why Encha is so deeply buried. Was so undeniably locked up. It is because I lost my soul-mate on that planet. And not just in the physical sense of the word.
      Because of the Rogue Lizard, she was destroyed completely. He was vanquished.  Both were obliterated back into the base element of aether where one's soul became one again with The Creator.
      In the instant before death, I now know that she did it for me. She protected me, trying to keep me under the radar of the Lizard.

24April2011 Sunday 00h21am: No bed for me just yet. More memories being released, all started with one small trigger. I am crying again as the little details are being presented to me. How to give this out to this world? How so much heartache can be carried by one single being?
      The tears spill over my cheeks, gushing into my neck, collecting into my clothes. I take a handkerchief and weep into it, not loud enough for my husband to hear. Not loud enough for my children to wake up.
      Just a release of all the heartache that had been stashed within a dark, dank box. 
      My husband stated that I am busy with a difficult bit, otherwise I would have been typing. Confirmed this. He will know when he reads this part of my previous life. I know now why I have hidden it so well, even from me, the grief is still shallow, digging through to this current life I am living at the moment.
      It is probably time to let this go as well. It is time to release and unveil that which had stayed behind on Encha. That which was never talked about, never mentioned once you left that place, locked up in a strong-box and hidden in a locked room so that you do not ever have to return to it.
      But now I have been ordered to and it is too hard to bear. My heart wants to break all anew, for that one single entity is part of everything now. No longer an individual. And it was not her choice. She did it for me. And I destroyed her. I destroyed her completely. How can one ever forgive oneself for that atrocity? How?
      I know that it was the only way.
      I have never revealed my feelings to anyone before. Not in the lifetime of Han Storm anyway. No-one ever discussed Encha after we've opened her up and destroyed the Lizards. No-one ever asked what happened that day.
      We all kept quiet, too afraid and too emotionally depleted to bring that negativity to the fore.
      And now I am paying for it. Hundreds of Thousands of years after the incident. I am paying for it. My family is paying for it, because I become not myself. I become someone else and I do not know if I am strong enough within this body to handle it.
      Feeling empty and depleted. Warn out by the responsibility to bring my lives to this World.
      Limbo.
      Protecting myself from the emotional overload.
      Limbo.
      I want to sleep, but sleep will bring only more detailed memories . . .

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